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How to masturbate | Enjoy yourself!
Orgasms are great! And most women achieve this delightful feeling more easily while masturbating than having sex with a partner. But let’s face it, whereas male masturbation is considered to be “normal” and maybe even necessary for the boys to “let off steam”, female masturbation still remains a taboo in wide parts of today’s society. Sometimes it’s seen as dirty, a stopgap for single women, or even a betrayal of the partner.
In my mind, masturbation is natural - as generally nobody teaches us how to do it, and we still end up discovering the pleasures of solo play sooner or later in our lives. Neither do I see masturbation as a substitute for sex – or sex as a substitute for masturbation. Masturbation can rather enhance your sexual experience with your partner, as you get to know your body, explore your erogenous zones and start developing fantasies. You will be able to guide your partner while having sex with him, and make it an even more pleasurable experience for both of you.
Especially for women who have difficulties to orgasm, solo play is a nice way to train the ability to practice how to get there with a partner. And the best part about it: The journey is the reward. ;-)
So, no matter if you are a regular self-pleaser or a newcomer, here are some hints how to make masturbating a really good experience:
- Make sure you are warm (literally, I mean) and comfortable, find a nice spot where no one will disturb or interrupt you (except if you like that little thrill), and chose a situation where you have plenty of time.
- To create a personal cozy atmosphere, dim the light, light some candles, dispense relaxing essential oils and put on music you like.
- Begin by touching yourself all over, paying careful attention to the areas of the body that are most sensitive. Try arching your back, fondling your breasts, or clenching and rubbing your thighs together.
- Once you’re turned on, you probably feel ready for genital stimulation.
- Move your fingers closer towards your vagina. Don’t rush and explore the outer and inner vaginal lips. If you are not sure where your clitoris is, run your finger along the inside of the vaginal lips, up toward your navel. The clitoris is protected under a hood of skin, and most women do not enjoy directly touching the clitoral glans because it is very sensitive.
- Experiment with different methods of touching yourself: rub or stroke the shaft of your clitoris, massage the labia, use your fingers as a V-shape sliding up and down. Alternate between stimulating your vagina and your clitoris, between making circles and linear movements, and between different levels of pressure.
- Maybe you would like to position a mirror in a way that you can watch yourself and appreciate the attractiveness a sexual partner would see?
- Try to add some variation to your solo play: change the position and try different toys.
- Try new places. How about a nice bubble bath? Or a place where you could be spotted, such as a restaurant bathroom?
- Once you feel comfortable touching yourself, why not let your partner watch you while doing so? I promise you he will be turned on and maybe not even let you finish by ourself, but take over ;-)
I bet, once you have tried experimenting, you will be able to add infinite ideas to that list. Actually, if you would like to do so, just leave a comment! :-)
And never forget: Masturbation is sex with a person you love.
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